Take mine, for example: And that, ladies and gentlemen, is my two-paragraph spiel that I have honed to online-dating poetry.These two paragraphs describe everything that could ever need to be known about me. Well, no, of course they don’t; but my spiel does do a pretty good job of saying what I look like and what I am looking for. While exploring who you are and capturing it in such a condensed form can be daunting, there are two things you can easily avoid to make your profile more attractive.
This only robs both of you of precious time that could be better served improving your quality of life in new directions.Learn to be assertive and direct with your needs and feelings. Don’t bail out of a dating relationship at the first sign of trouble.Relationships take hard work and conflict is actually a necessary precursor to deeper connection and intimacy.Due to growing up in a homophobic society, most gay men as teenagers had to keep their sexualities hidden for fear of social backlash and further damage to their already shaky self-images.Some boys chose to distance themselves completely from dating, while others chose to date their female peers to more easily “fit in” and be accepted.There may be more options available now, but I still find it to be my go-to dating method.
My preference for the online dating pool may be because my social circles don’t bring me into contact with an abundance of single gay men, or because it’s interesting to meet people who are outside my everyday experience. The debut of website that promotes mindful dating—is exciting.
Be proactive in getting what you want and take responsibility for what happens. Don’t stand on the sidelines hoping someone will make contact with you. Family and friends provide a much needed source of connection, love, and fun that can truly enhance your life as a single gay man. Be careful of casual sexual encounters if your goal is to meet a prospective life partner.
Make that move yourself and choose to approach someone if you’re interested. A turn-down for a date has nothing to do with you as a person; it has everything to do with the other person’s projections and needs. Typically sexual release is the primary aim of such encounters, which can confuse and disillusion you to the type of men available, believing that gay men only want sex and nothing more significant or with depth. He was very supportive, understood the challenges in my life without judgment, and helped me to formulate my goals and reframe some of my self-defeating behaviors.
Fortunately, today’s generation of gay youth are experiencing slightly more liberal attitudes and acceptance from their peer group about being gay, but there’s still a long way to go.
As a result, many gay men as adults remain perplexed and confused about how to date other men.
One of the developmental tasks of all adolescents is to establish productive relationships with their peer group and to understand and manage their sexuality.