Self help dating
And bizarrely, a second experiment found that repeating negative statements instead could actually have a beneficial effect.In the first study, researchers asked volunteers to repeat the statement 'I am a lovable person', then measured their mood.
If a friend is struggling with fertility, it makes sense that you’d want to help find a positive spin on things.“I’m sure they felt awkward and didn’t know what to say.”And, even if that silence is well-intentioned, it can leave the person going through IVF feeling alone.“No one even mentioned it or asked me how I was doing, I think because they were worried they’d upset me,” says Sarah*, a woman who went through a few cycles of IVF before getting pregnant.I couldn’t say it once without erupting into giggles.It was while jogging, for instance, that I realised that a large part of why I wasn’t being more productive was because the shape of my desk was wrong and its dark wood was depressing me.“I felt like a pariah.”With all of that in mind, we talked to women who have been through this process—as well as fertility experts who deal with this every day—to find out what you should and shouldn’t say to someone going through IVF.
Sarah says a colleague suggested adoption to her when she was just starting her first round of IVF—and it devastated her.
’ according to Stewart, is our obsession with happiness.
‘These books – not to mention the courses and retreats that have sprung up around them – sell people the promise of getting rid of things like anxiety, but I’m afraid this is just part of the human condition.
Next up, I will be reciting the ‘Five Fear Truths’, according to Susan Jeffers, author of the bestselling Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway, and plotting my progress on her ‘pain to power chart’.
‘I think it’s fair to say that – in some ways – people were more content in the former Soviet Union, where there was one brand of soap powder which was just called “soap powder”, than they are in Britain today,’ says Stewart.
Karen says her friends and family tried to be supportive but ultimately, “they didn’t get it.”The first two cycles of IVF were pretty positive for Shannon M. D., founder of Babies After35.com, but she tells SELF she struggled to stay upbeat during subsequent cycles (she did five in all).